Nothing Better To Do

I'm Back Just For Fun

2005-10-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I last blog. Just don't have the mood or the feel to blog. Everyday I'm bog down with work in the office. All of a sudden, you just tend to lose this blogging feel. Today after three months, I decided to drop by my old blog again. Looking at the old article, brings back some sort of nostalgic feeling to me. I feel as though I have lost a large part of my humour due to my nature of work. Always dealing with people, some who are rather fucked up. Then there is the problem of breakdowns at site. I don't think I would like to dwell further into my working life. Just leave it as it is.

This blog is for me to write, curse, relax, talk kok, etc. Speaking of which I have been visiting this particular place for 2 times already this whole week. Its not exactly a place, more like a back alley somewhere in Johor Bahru. There you could find some rather fascinating personalities working between 9pm to God knows what time. Ask, any Johorean or UTM students and I think they would know exactly what I am talking about. :)

Yeah, going to that place is like some sort of stress reliever for me. :) I don't go alone though, normally with a couple of friends. Maybe I would elaborate more some other day. Till then it is back to work..work....work....

Fcuk...

Chronous? What The Heck is That?

2005-08-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

Well I heard this joke from a colleague of mine. He attended this course which is actually an equipment traning program. The equipment would be used for communication purposes in my company.

So on the first day of the training, the course instructor asked if anyone there knew the origin of the word "synchronous"?

Nobody answered.

After waiting for a couple of minutes, the instructor broke the silence by explaining that the word synchronous is derived from the Greek word "chronous".

Everybody nodded.

Still unsatisfied with the lame response from his audience, the instructor proceeded to explain that "chronous" is actually a name of a Greek God.

"Does anyone here know what kind of God is Chronous?" asked the instructor.

Silence.....

Then came a soft retort from the back

"Chronous is the God of COMMUNICATION sir!"

Everyone in the room broke into laughter.

I laughed my head off hearing this from my colleague.

Classic I would Say.

Till then, Cheerios everyone...

Blog Whores Galore

2005-08-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

After blog hopping several blogs today, I realized that many bloggers are turning into blog whores. Sad to say that some bloggers just tend to make use of other blogger who are more famous to increase hits to their sites. How do bloggers make use of other bloggers? Well here are a few things that I noticed:

1. Utilizing their blogs to critize everything from articles to pictures that another blogger produces in his/her blog.

2. Post photoshopped pictures of a famous blogger. Making them look semi-retarded but at times even making some look prettier as compared to the original picture.

3. Post nudes pictures downloaded from SPG.

4. Post negative comments on a famous blogger's site, hoping that the comments would attract readers to click on the link.

A very good example of a blog whore is

xialanxue

and not forgetting

stevenlim

If you look carefully, you can see many other blog whoring methods dished out by bloggers just to gain popularity in the blogging world.

In truth, tt's just my 5 cents worth of opinion. If you don't like what I say, sue me.

Cheerios.

To Port Dickson And Back

2005-07-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

It's 3:05am in the morning and here I am putting in a blog entry for today. Just finished reading both Kenny and Xia Xue's blogs. Sometimes I do wonder whether am I the only person who feels motivated to blog everytime I finish reading Kenny's or Xia Xue's blogs entries? Or perhaps there are many other more bloggers out there who share the same sentiment as me.

Anyway, good for Xia Xue now that her blog is back to what it was before. The hacking ordeal must be really punishing for her both physically and emotionally. As for me, go ahead, hack all you want, I can start all over again. Like what Xia Xue said, I'll come back bigger, better and stronger (not my penis ok).

Well, actually I just came back from Port Dickson with a few of my old school friends. We left Seremban at about 12 am, and arrived at our destination around 12.45 am. Our destination is actually a small beach side pub selling drinks and tid bits. This is my first time visiting this pub and I was half expecting to be greeted by lotsa chicks/ babes in bikinis serving me beer. Well half of my expectation was fulfilled (the beer was there), the other half would remain justas an expectation (the sexy babes in bikini part).

Anyway, the three of us had for bottles of beer, one fried kuey tiow(for me) and a dish called Hong Kong Taufu. We managed to catch up on the latest happenings (more like our so called happening mundane daily life) in our life. One of my friend just came back from China after spending 5 months working there. He is Chinese, speaks minimal Mandarin yet able to survive for 5 months in China and got involved in a relationship with a China girl. I have to agree with the statement that the world is indeed full of surprises.

I will pray that things would work out for him. Personally long distance relationship is not something that I would really encourage, especially if the relationship is only starting to bud. Yet, as a friend, all I advice him is to let faith runs it course. As the song goes, "What ever will be will be, the future is not ours to see".

Feeling rather sleepy now.

Till then, cheerios......

Buffet For The Rich and Famous

2005-07-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

I'm back, but not for good. I'll be only blogging occasionally since I hardly get the chance to access the internet here in Kuala Lumpur. I just completed the first week of training here in Kuala Lumpur and I have another week to go. Briefly this is an equipment training conducted by the supplier of the equipment for a group of employees from my company. Fortunately I'm one the lucky ones.

The training is of the typical type with the routine power point presentations and pratical equipment training. I do enjoy the training, honestly. Another plus point of the training is that for lunch, we are treated to RM54 buffet lunch at the Renaissance Hotel. Five freaking star buffet lunch for two weeks. The best part was, I even ordered a drink that cost about RM18 which tasted exactly like orange juice. I guess rich people just love to drink orange juice which has double digits pricing together with some fancy name like Tikki Delight.

Well for me, might as well enjoy it. It's free after all. The slack part about the buffet lunch is that the menu remains the same everyday. Occasionally there would be some variety of new dishes but most of the time, the same dishes are served everyday.

I'm afraid by the end of the two weeks course, I would have put on an extra few kilos. Sigh, imagine eating while the mind is subconsciously telling me that you're goin to turned into a FAT slob soon by the end of next week. Really comforting huh.

Well, the weekend approaches. No buffet lunches for Saturday and Sunday. I wonder if I can still consume normal food for the next two days. I've this image in my mind depicting myself cringing to swallow home cooked food.

Till then, cheerios everyone.

Sakit Season..Sniff...Sniff

2005-07-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's the time of the year again, where everyone tends to get sick easily.

Blame it on the weather, blame it on the ugly guy that sneezed on you two days ago, blame it on your sick boss for giving you the tissue he just used, blame it on Osama, blame it on anyone.

The fact still remains, I'm sick and I know most of you are sick as well. Which explains why you are reading this blog at home instead of going to work or studying.

As far as I am concerned, I consider myself to be the third blogger to fall sick after Almonds&Diamonds and n305er. Since both of them posted articles detailing about how sick they were, why should I be left out as well (I sense the Kiasu-ness is strong in me).

Besides, I need some sympathy too you know.

Here's what I am suffering from:

and

I'm sick, who the heck cares about copyright.

This is what I feel right now

Yes, I know he looks good eventhough he is sick. I'm probably about 10 times more worse then him.

Better to put this guys face in my blog then my own sick (and F#$@*! up) face.

Please have some sympathy for me and leave some wonderful comments in my blog k.

Sniff...sniff...

Chee.....cough...cough...rios

Virus...Virus...Latest Update

2005-07-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone, I'm back in the office.

I paused the virus scan before I left office yesterday and resumed the scanning about 5 minutes ago. Check out the latest number of infected files.

Excellente...Bravo....75231 files scanned and 123 viruses found. Mr. W32.HLLW.Lovgate.G must really love my laptop. By the way, Mr.W32.HLLW.Lovgate.G broung along his brother too, Mr.W32.Lovgate.X@mm.

I hope I don't see more members of the Lovgate family.

Later, I won't be surprise if I come across names such as:

Mrs.W32.Lovgate.Wife.BigBossOfTheHouse.XXX

Mr.W32.Lovgate.Jr

Mr.W32.Lovgate.Granpa.89yrsOld.And.Still.KickingButt

Whatever viruses that are infecting my laptop, BEWARE! your time is short.

Sigh, perhaps it's time to format the laptop. The problem is there are too many important files to backup and the labtop does not have a cd burner.

Till then, cheerios....

134 infected files(Just checked before posting this article)

Virus..Virus...Lotsa Virus

2005-07-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

Arrggghhh....OMG.....WTF.....

You must be asking why am I screaming and cursing?

Here take a look at this :

Here's the full story

After using the company labtop for about 4 months, I decided to be a nice guy and give that bugger (I meant the laptop) a thorough virus scan. After updating the antivirus software with the latest virus definition, I proceeded to run a full system scan on the laptop.

Initially, I did not mind the first prompt appearing and telling me that a virus has been found in one of the files.

I told myself, "Bah, just one small infection, what the heck, small problem oni mah"

Shown below is the prompt that would appear when a virus is detected:

From the picture above you can see that a virus by the name of W32.HLLW.Lovgate.G has infected my C:\ArmadaE5006oft\ATIWindowsDriver.exe.

Action taken: Clean failed (stupid....Norton). Quarantine succeeded. (Yay, should I strip naked now and run around the office while tugging at my nipple rings?)

Fine by me, go ahead and quarantine. Besides only one file is infected.

Things got really out of hand when the prompt started appearing in an alarming rate. Every five minutes or so, a prompt appears.

If you have noticed from the first picture, you can see that the files scanned are about 10,000 plus and the antivirus has already detected 11 infections by Mr. Lovgate.G (Who the hell gave this virus that name. Why not name it Mr. LovAssAndKissMy.S.E.X.Y.butt.G?)

10,000 files is only a small portion of the C drive. I'm guessing by the time the scan is completed, probably about 5000 of my files are infected by Mr.Lovgate.G.KissMyAss virus.

Sorry I just couldn't help it. Mr.Lovgate.G just doesn't sound nice to me unless I add the KissMyAss part into it.

Anyway, let's see how everything goes from here.

OK last check.....25 files infected.....and still counting...YIPPIE....

By the way, my name is not Faisal. He's the previous owner of the laptop.

Till then, have a nice day and hope that your computer too will be graced by Mr. Lovgate.G

and .KissMyAss

Cheerios

NBTD? Let's Protest

2005-07-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

"Anti-Arroyo marchers clog Makati"

Yup, that's the headline for the Sun paper today.

Let me briefly explain to you what this entire issue is all about.

(Takes a deep breath.....)

Basically, there is this one big group of really pissed people (about 30,000 of them) who decided to gather at the Makati financial district in Manila.

The reason of the gathering :

Trying real hard to get the Philippines President to step down.

Why are 30,000 people so pissed :

Because the Philippines President Arroyo (I prefer calling her AhYoYo) allegedly rigged the last election. A recording of her having a conversation with an election official was released not long ago.

What are the 30,000 people demanding :

"OVERTHROW HER! ARREST HER! MAKE HER PAY!"

What are the 30,000 pissed off people doing at the protest :

Waving banners, chanting, singing protest song, wasting time, groping, etc

Who's the "kepala", or the Big Badass Boss of the rally :

A lady by the name of Jejomar Binay (Makati's mayor and protest leader)

What is Jejomar's comment :

"I don't like Gloria. Naturally in our place, no one likes Gloria"

(I guess girls just like to organize massive protest rallies when they don't like each other huh?)

Thank you all and have a nice day protesting

Cheerios

Pit Stop At Melaka

2005-07-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

As promised, I have managed to sort out the pictures that I took in Melaka and Genting. Here is a brief blog entry describing my trip to Melaka and Genting with my Ge Ge. Don’t worry though because there would not be any pictures of me or my Ge Ge in it. The reason? Well there are two reasons actually.

1. I’m too ugly. My presence in the picture would ruin the entire picture.
2. My Ge Ge too pretty. Therefore cannot show her picture in this blog, else all you “hamsap” guys are going to download her picture as your wallpaper.

The trip to Melaka was a short one, more like a pit stop for me and my Ge Ge while travelling back to my hometown in Seremban from Johor Bahru. Both of us have never been to Jonker Street in Melaka so we decided to stop by to check out the street.

I reached Melaka town about half an hour after I exited the Air Keroh Toll. After parking my car at a spot somewhere beside a river, I took opportunity to snap some pictures of the ships that were docked there. I did not manage to find out the name of the river. Until someone enlightens me with the actual name of this river, I shall name it Melaka river for the time being.

Jonker Street actually consists of double storey shop houses situated both on the left and the right of the street. The majority of the shops along Jonker Street are old in terms off design (old by my standards), yet most of them are well maintained and some even look like they have just been painted.

Most of the shop houses along Jonker Street sell souvenirs, traditional clothing and food. We practically came across three to four stalls selling ABC (Ais Batu Campur) along Jonker Street. In addition to that, about 10-20 shops are selling the same variety of souvenirs. Surprisingly only one shop is selling the famous Melaka Chicken Rice Ball. (Then again, was it Rice Ball Chicken or Chicken Balls Rice?)

Here are some pictures of the souvenirs that you can purchase along Jonker Street.

I found one shop selling this gigantic pair of chopsticks. (Specially made for our larger European counterparts I guess.)

At the same shop, I found another intriguing souvenir. Till today, I’m still pondering about what is the purpose of this souvenir.

How about trying out some of the masks above? They all look so "cute".

I’m not an avid souvenir collector, but if any one of you who are into collecting weird souvenirs, masks and antiques, I personally recommend you to give Jonker Street a visit.

The only highlight of the day for me was coming across this:

Cool design for a t-shirt. Except in real life, just remember to remove the branches and leaves from the condom before intercourse.

Even Mr "Only God Knows Who Is This Weird Guy" agress that we all should use condoms

I agree too, but I don't think any girl would want you to use a condom on her.

That should be enough for today, I can see those bored faces already. Hope to be able to come up with a second part to describe my trip short trip to Genting (as well as to make some readers who have never been to Genting envious of me).

Till then, cheerios everyone.

Pressured and Worried

2005-07-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

I'm back at office today. All of a sudden, I feel a little pressured by my job. Probably because my mentor would be leaving to another region and I will be taking over her post in Johor.

So currently I am already nearing the final phase of the changeover. This mean that my mentor would be leaving early September and I would officially take over her place on that date. I would then be officially taking over all her responsibility and job scope.

I am not being pressured by my mentor to take full responsibility now. In fact I am pressuring myself to take over as many responsibility as possible from her. Deep down, I just don't feel that prepared to take over her place.

Currently I am trying to take things one step at a time, but time is really not on my side. It's going to be rather hectic come August and September. Looks like I am using this blog as a place for me to talk about my work stress.

I hope things would be easier for me in the coming months. I really would prefer to entertain readers with crappy articles. So I hope to be able to find some time to write some crappy articles rather then telling readers about my work.

Till then, cheerios.

Pooped, Exhausted and Contented

2005-07-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

This is what I feel like doing now.

I'm totally pooped after spending the whole day shopping with my Ge Ge.

I trully marvel at how my Ge Ge could endure four hours of walking in a shopping centre without any rest. She's still walking in some shopping centre with her friend while I decide to wait for her at my friend's place.

Told her that once she's done, give me a call and I'll go pick her up.

I believe most guys in a relationship would have the same problem as me. Well I shouldn't be calling this a problem. In other words, most guys would have to face an endurance test everytime we go out shopping with our girlfriends.

Try walking for four hours non-stop in a shopping centre and repeat this 3 times a week. I can guarantee you that in 6 months time, you can even hike up to Gunung Kinabalu with ease.

Honestly I enjoy spending time with my Ge Ge. No pun indeed. At the end of the day, I find that it is worth all the exhaustion and fatigue if I am able spend some quality time with the person I love.

Wah, feeling rather sentimental these few days. I wonder when I'll be back to my old self. Till then, dear readers, please bear with me.

Busy Busy Busy

2005-07-08T19:16:00.000-07:00

To all readers, due to my work and relationship commitment, I have not been able to update my blog for the last few days. Will be back next Tuesday and hopefully update my blog on Wednesday.

For the past few days I have been travelling to KL and back (to JB), TWICE. Took the chance to drop by Jonker street, Melaka yesterday while on my way to KL with my Ge Ge. For the first time, I got to try out the famous Melaka Satay Celup. Unfortunately we did not get the chance to try out another delicacy which is the Melaka Chicken Rice Ball due to time constraints. Will update everyone with pictures.

In addition, I will be heading to Genting Highlands on Sunday for a short holiday with my Ge Ge. Viva Las Genting, here I come. Hurray...

Till then, cheerios.

P.S : Have to sneakily update my blog while attending a PMS course in KL now.

Funny Pics

2005-07-06T06:50:00.000-07:00

I am sure some of you would have seen this picture. But I'll just post if for fun.

Enjoy....

Beat This

Look I've Got Chest Hair

2005-07-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

Referring to my past article "Won't Be Around This Weekend", I did mention that if Scarlett Ting ever ever ever visit my blog, I'll start sprouting chest hair.Guess what, look what I discovered today morning.

I've got nipple rings too....

Looking mighty sexy with my chest hair, I vow to take good care of each and every single strand. Can someone recommend a good shampoo for my chest hair?

Alright Crap Aside.

Now for the real deal. For the past two days, I have came across two to three blogs articles which are Religion Related. Bloggers can write about religious issues and most of the time, those articles would always receive good (sometimes ugly) feedbacks/ comments from readers.

Writing about religion using an unbiased perspective is FINE with me. What really pisses me off is when bloggers tend to compare other religions with theirs. Why should another religion be used as comparison? Please don't tell me that the teachings of your religion taught you to write a blog with the purpose of stepping on other religions in order to make your own religion look good/better/superior?

Who are we to judge which religion is the better one?
Who are we to say that your belief is wrong and mine is right?

Perhaps someone can give me an answer to my questions.

Till Then Happy Blogging Everyone.

NBTD82 in Egyptian Hieroglyphs

2005-07-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

My name using Egyptian Hieroglyphs!

Script by

MUTANT BLOGGERS ON THE LOOSE

2005-07-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I seem to be having a blogger block these few days. My creative mind is not working at full capacity and finding ideas to write has become a hassle for me. I wonder if other bloggers out there face this problem every once in a while. At times I wonder if famous bloggers such as Kenny Sia, Xia Xue and to no lesser extent, Scarlett Ting ever stop spewing articles from their blogs.

I would get the impression that bloggers like them always have ideas running in their head(oozing out from their brain, nose and mouth would be a better description). All they ever need to do is just pick one and use it to produce an excellent article every single day.

Could it be that they are born with special blogging abilities? Some even say they are a new generation of "Mutant" Bloggers, each imbued with a special ability to blog. (Very much like the X-men with special powers)

Added some hair for Xavier and lipstick to go with it too, just so that Xavier would resemble Xia Xue. (Xavier is much more pretty with the make up)

Beast is very much similiar to Kenny Sia. (Except Kenny's more hairy)

As for Scarlett, Storm's body figure is about the same as hers. (Don't Tell Ting she's got thunder thighs)

Sorry if the modified mutant bloggers sucked big time. I had no other choice but to use Paint since I am blogging this from my office.

Beast Kenny Sia with the Blogging Power to Write Sarcasticly and To Self Depreciate Himself

Xavier Xia Xue with the Blogging Power to Criticize and Photoshop Expertly

Storm Scarlett Ting with the Blogging Power to Flirt Dangerously and Create Sparks

Sometimes, I do wish that I too posses some sort of special ability to blog brilliantly. If given the choice of which mutant blogger personality I would like to be, I choose:

I love Blogging, you love Blogging, We are all one big Blogging family....

Familiar tune huh?

So there you go,

Barney NBTD82 with the Powers To Waste Time Writing CrapShit Like the One You Just Read

Pheeww...one more article for today and no more worries for today.

Thanks for wasting your time reading it. I warned you before, this blog is really meant for people with Nothing Better To Do.

SMACK The Frog

2005-07-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling stress and tired of your work?

Feeling sleepy before you could even finish reading a paragraph of the book you are holding?

Why waste time writing blogs like me just so that you can release all your pent up anger and frustation?

STOP!

what you are doing now and come

"SMACK" the Frog

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=11361

Let loose all your stress and anger by having a go at this extremely irritating Frog.

Comes with the ding ding ding tune too...

Wonderful Journey Or So It Seems.... Part 2

2005-07-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation from the first part of my journey back to Johor Bahru.

Deeply disappointed after the ‘pretty’ lady in yellow rejected my request for her to administrate CPR on me, I sat quietly and tried to endure the irritating vibration.

After about 20 minutes of staring blankly into the air, I decided to do something more constructive. The first thing that caught my eye was my own bus ticket. After scrutinizing the ticket for a few minutes, I notice several mistakes on the ticket.

Mistakes Spotted
->> I am heading for JOHORE BAHRU.
->> This bus company is situated at Terminal Larkim, Jojor Bahru.

Satisfied with my findings and half hoping that Johor Bahru might be changed to Jojor Bahru one day, I realized that the bus has come to a stop.

I decided to get down from the bus to take in some fresh air as well as to empty my tank. The moment I stepped down from the bus, I was greeted by this huge sign.

They might even offer delivery services. Notice the delivery guy waiting on his bike.

Excellent, I wonder what kind of fast food they might be selling here. Letting my imagination running wild as usual, my mind came up with a few fast food items that I imagine might be sold here:

Mc 1 Ton Mee
Kim Guan Hot And Spicy Chicken
Original Recipe Maggi Goreng
Mozza Tai Pau (Tai Pau stands for Large Pau)

Deciding against trying any of these products even if they are for sale, I headed straight for the toilet.

Well, the ventilation in the toilet was better then I expected. Ceiling fans running at full throttle and situated about an inch above the wall. Wonderful architecture I would say.

The toilet even offers advertising for people to read while doing their business. Reading the advertisement did keep me occupied while releasing my ammonia laden piss.

Here’s the advertisement:

Here’s a close up of it.

Being a nice guy, I even translated the advertisement to English for those who do not understand the Malay Language. Enjoy.

Translation: Take Care of Cleanliness

Translation: Bleeding Shit?

Translation: Butt Itchy?

Translation: Wart?

Translation: Make Pain Disappear In 2 Minutes

Translation: Please Get It At The Counter

Translation: RM12.90 Only

The advertisement that really made my day was the one placed illegally right behind the toilet door. Simply written using a Black Marker Pen, I immediately got what the advertisement was trying to say the moment I look at it.

Two words. Simple and Easy.

Translated into simple English:
“If you ever want to get a good ‘BLOW’ service, just give 016-7573555 a call”

For the rest of the journey back to Johor, nothing eventful happened except for the continuous snoring and snorting coming from some guy sitting at the front section of the bus. I did try asking the lady in ‘yellow’ again for a CPR rehearsal with me.

Arrggghhh…get the Hell away from me

Action speaks louder then word I guess.

The End.

Won't Be Around This Weekend

2005-06-30T23:13:00.001-07:00

Just to inform all you Nothing Better To Do people that I won't be around this weekend. The place where I am going does not have an Internet connection. (No, it is not a jungle or some secluded area in Kalimantan) So here is a special message for each and every one of you.

Soggie : I'll be back on Monday with a longer Lighbrator.

Assendure : Lets get to "Know" each other more intimately....Oppss...I meant "better".

Nadnut : She won't be reading this blog because she will be in Phuket.

ws- : Make sure you "belanja" me makan when you get your first pay.

Joey : You better get your butt down here and post a comment in my blog.

n305er : Drive down to JB when you get your car fixed.

Chocolatefan : Erm...can I call you little sis?

FORCE Forum Members : Don't miss you dear Administrator, he'll be back on Monday to give each and everyone of you a free WARNING.

Lowyat.net Members : You must be asking who the Fxxk Am I?

Scarlett Ting : The day you visit my blog would be the day I start sprouting chest hair.

The Rest Of You Out There : All together now, say YATTA!

Google To The Test - Results

2005-06-30T02:42:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the results are out.

From the article "Google To The Test" dated 29th June 2005, I wrote about putting Google ads to the test.

Truly I was disappointed by the ads that Google put up after deciding to sacrifice my blog last night by bombarding it with Saddams.

After crawling my blog, I expected Google to put up some ads that are related to Saddam. I was hoping to see ads like:

1. Have an extreme makeover, come to Makeover.com and let us turn you into a Saddam Look-Alike.
2. Nukes and Bombs are now sold at half price. Goto Saddam'sNuke.com
3. Don't Miss Out On The Chance To Own Your Own Personal Bunker. No deposit required. Just come visit us at SandDamBunker.com
4. Saddam wants you! Come join the Help Assist Mr. SAddam Program. Come join us and be a part of the HAMSAP community. Find out more about what HAMSAP members do at HAMSAP.com
Disappointing enough, Google choose to display ads that are blog related. How the heck is Saddam related to blogs? Perhaps Saddam himself likes to blog.

This I seriously doubt.

This can only boil down to one answer. My theory is wrong!

But WAIT a second, could it be that choosing the word Saddam itself is not a very smart choice.

Logically who would pay to put ads which are Saddam related? Unless of course if there are parties trying to sell Saddam's home made bombs and artillery to the public via Internet.

50% off For This Little Bugger

Lets give this theory of mine another try. This time I promise to select a better word.

Ok, step 1 : Take picture of my blog.

There you go, again.

Step 2 : SPAM a word of my choice.

Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money.

Woah...lotsa of Money.

Step 3 : We wait again.

Google Ads To The Test

2005-06-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

Google ads really amuses me at times. When I post the article about my journey back to Johor, I only mentioned the word "feng shui" about 3 times in my article and google ads starts to display ads related feng shui. Hei, I don't want ads about feng shui being displayed on my blog. I seriously doubt any reader would be interested to find out what would be best position of the keyboard in order to write a hilarious blog article. Neither does anyone need to know which strategic position must the finger be before clicking the left button of the mouse.

Back to the article, Google ads as most of us know would display ads which are related to the article you have written. Being a simple dude (who does not want his brain cells to die when pondering over issues such as this), I do not and will not try to understand the complexity of Google ads selection. Never the less, I really would like to test this theory I have in mind.

Theory :

If I were to repeatedly type the same word in my blog (like about a hundred times), will Google display ads which are related to the word?

Procedure :

1. Take a picture of the my blog before the experiment is carried out.
2. Select a suitable word.
3. Repeatedly type the same word in my blog.
4. Wait for a few hours/days.
5. Check for results.

Execution of Procedure :

1. Take picture of blog before actual spamming.

There you go, a nice picture of my blog.

2. Select a word to SPAM.

I have decided to select the word "Saddam".

Readers please ignore this section below. It is not some sort of new language with only a single vocabulary in it.

Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, Saddam,

3. Wait and see.

4. For bloggers who are extreamly eager to find out the results, goto:

http://nbtd82.blogspot.com

and search for the Google Ads box.

Sometimes I really can't blame people for being overly curious to find out where does the link above goto.

Wonderful Journey Or So It Seems....

2005-06-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I breath a huge sigh of relief as I stepped down from the bus. I could still feel my head spinning and my legs as wobbly as fresh made tofu. Let’s start from the beginning, from the moment I stepped onto the bus at 2.30pm Sunday. I looked at my bus ticket, seat 3C. Confidently, I head to the designated seat and ‘wah lah’ there is this lady sitting on my seat. I flashed my ticket at her and indicated to her that she was sitting on my sit. She just flashed me a blank look and shrugged her shoulders. At that moment I felt like flashing my million dollar smile at her and maybe give her a dose of my wonderful breath.

Stare blankly again at me the next time and you wont be only enjoying this smile.

Being a gentleman and deciding that I rather save my breath then to waste it on her, I decided to approach the bus driver.

“Free sitting lah dik”

It seems the bus driver could read my mind. Before I could even get close to him, he already answered my doubt. I turned around and everyone is already seated comfortably. There you go, I lost my 3C seat and what was left on the bus is the seat with the “best” feng shui. Alright I admit it is the second “best” seat. The “best” seat would be the seat right behind mine.

There you go, seat with the 2nd best feng sui. No, this is definitely not the exit door of the bus.

The only consolation of sitting on this seat is that I get this wonderful view only when I turned around to look behind. Luckily for me, Malaysian buses do not allow passengers to do their business in the bus toilet. Imagine someone dropping a large one in the toilet and some of the wonderful fumes managed to escape from the toilet.

5 seconds before: Peace for all passengers in Bus JBB 6047.

At the event when the BOMB was dropped. Toxic fumes are released into the air.

5 seconds after: Total elimination of passengers in Bus JBB 6047

Maybe I am over-exaggerating this whole bus toilet issue (especially with the picture of the mushroom cloud forming in the air). On the other hand if bus companies really do allow people to do their business in the toilet, this would most probably be the last trip I ever make on a bus.

Sitting near the bus toilet really did not bother me much at all. The one thing that I could not stand was the constant vibration coursing all over my body. No it’s not that I have a vibrator stuffed up somewhere in my body. It is due to the fact that my seat is situated right above the back tyre of the bus. The suspension of the bus failed miserably in absorbing all the vibrations, practically turning my seat into a RM5000 OSIM massaging chair. Come to think of it, this explains why the old Indian lady seated in front of me was sleeping peacefully throughout the entire journey. She was happily enjoying the free massage.

I on the other hand felt like someone is giving me CPR (without the mouth to mouth resuscitation) throughout the entire journey. The vibration was so intense that I had trouble breathing. As for the stranger sitting beside me, she doesn’t seem to be bothered with the vibration. I wonder if she is able to give me real CPR if I stop breathing suddenly. That is if she is willing to put her lips on mine.

Would you like to give me CPR?

Noooo……get away from me!

END of PART 1

I USED TO BE FAMOUS

2005-06-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

This is what I call nothing better to do.

Good News For Acne Laden People

2005-06-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

While I was driving to work today and tuning in to MIX FM, the 7 am news announced that a recent research has proven that people who suffer from acne/pimples problem are least likely to suffer from heart problem when they get older.

Logically I can understand that a person who suffers from Erectile Dysfunction is least likely to suffer from Sexually Transmitted Disease. But when the news said that a person with an acne problem is least likely to suffer from heart problems, that really puzzled me. Could it be that people who suffer from acne tend to secrete so much oil that there is no more oil left to clog up their arteries? (I am presuming that oil is a close relative of cholesterol)

Never the less, to all those people with perfect skin, a big HAHA for you all. As for those who suffer from acne problem, lets bring out the champaign and celebrate.

I vow to start munching on fries and chips right this very day. Need to start increasing my acne count. Its five today, hope it'll increase to 10 by tomorrow.:)

Nose Digger

2005-06-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

After reading this article from

http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/nosepicking.html

I finally found out the true origin of nose digging or what Hokkiens called "Yak Gim". I shall not dwell on the history of Yak Gim, or else I might be sued for abusing the copyright of the site mentioned above. Let’s cut out the legal shit and get on with the topic of the day.

Firstly, let’s list out what terms Malaysian would use to describe this fine art.

In Bahasa Melayu the most commonly used terms would be:

1. korek tahi hidung

2. korek emas

In Cantonese you would hear terms such as:

1. Wat Kam

2. Wat Pei Si

Sometimes you hear Hokkiens saying terms such as:

1. Yak Kim

2. Yak Pi Sai

No matter what language is used to describe this fine art, it still boils down to the same specific mission. That is of course to dislodge that brown colored (at times black) piece of irritating crap (literally shit ) out from your nostril.

Here are the most common thoughts which would appear in a nose picker's mind when they are disrupted from doing what is considered the most pleasurable activity that ever came across human civilization. Here are the thoughts:

Sial betul lah budak ni. Kacau pulak,ni baru tengah nak shiok korek emas.
Wah, kanasai. Baru boh shiok yak pi sai, heh geh kin kia lai ka ka ciao ciao.
Deng, ngor geh pei si jiau lei chut jor, dim chee li tiu farn cheong lei ka ka ciao ciao.

To those who do not know Cantonese, Hokkien or Bahasa Melayu, you can either ask your friends about it or you could post a comment here.I'll try my best to explain the meaning of it. Now, lets move on to describing the art of nose digging. Initially nose digging started out as a simple, easy to do and hassle free task. Humans in the past use only one simple procedure to get that instant satisfaction.

The Simple Procedure

Raise hand and look at fingers.
Select the cleanest finger as well as the best correct finger size to fit into the nostril. (This step is foregone once the person is already an experience nose digger. He/she would instantly know which finger is the best to do the job.)
Slowly insert the chosen finger into the nose hole.
Start moving the finger in a circular motion. The purpose of the circular motion is to perform a pre-inspection to find out the position of the targeted shit.
Once the position of the target has been located, this is where all the actions start.
Start moving the finger furiously around the located area. To most people, it is like fighting a battle. The objective is to locate, attack and remove target from location.
Victory is achieved when target has been removed. The satisfaction or should I say the "shiok-ness"of winning such furious battles over and over again are indeed priceless.

Back to the present time, many of us still practice the old "simple procedure". Thanks to human creativity and innovation, the "simple procedure" has been improved and refined over the years. Some of the improved methods are:

Placing a protective layer (e.g Tissue, Baby wipes, Handkerchief) over the finger before insertion.
Using a cotton bud to do the job instead of the finger.
Rub the nose a couple of times before inserting the finger. The purpose is to weaken the stubborn target before the actual digging begins.
Go see a doctor to remove the target. (This are for rare cases where the target is either too large or is lodged too deep in to be removed by one's finger.)

Then there is the interesting subject on how do to dispose off the dislodged target. Most of the time we find that the dislodged target will be stuck to the finger. Being the only the species make think with our god given brains, humans start to come out with ways on how to dispose these unwanted objects. Here are some of the methods which I do find very interesting:

Look around to makes sure the coast is clear. Brush the finger with the unwanted crap against the bottom part of a table. Put a little pressure on the finger to make sure that the piece of unwanted crap is properly stuck to the table. (Other popular disposal sites include beneath the chair, on the wall, on the shirt, tissue paper, other people's car, your friend's house when he/she is not looking.)
The more hardcore practitioners of nose digging are believed to be able to consume these unwanted crap. These people will only utilize their uncanny ability when there is no other proper disposal site or when they are really really hungry.)

In the near future, humans would of course come out with newer and better methods. New methods or inventions would be made available to the public, some even promising that their inventions are 100% satisfaction guaranteed. We might see new products replacing our fingers as the primary mode of digging. Imagine seeing products such as:

The nose master 5000
'Shiok'-a-nator
GoldDigger Version 3
Glad-i-dig-brator

being sold one the market. We humans would be spoilt for choices when it comes to buying the right equipment to perform nose digging. It would not be long for this to happen since in the present everything is already being commercialized. Maybe the pioneer of inventing the first prototype nose digging machine would be a Malaysian. For the mean time, let’s just stick to the old way of satisfying ourselves.

Aaaahhhhh..I am done with my own digging, have you done yours today?

Busy Busy Busy

2005-06-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have been rather busy these few days that I hardly have any time to come out with articles for my website. Never the less, I managed to post an article on "Secrets of the Pillow" in my site last night. I did the article while I am attending a management course. Do not think that I am a lazy or that I am a lousy employee. In truth, the course held does not require me to pay attention all the time. Since I am done with the assignment given by the course facilitator, I might as well take the time to write and publish the article in my site.

Apart from my normal working hours, been really busy trying to promote this new forum called "The FORCE FORUM". I find that this forum has the potential to grow larger in the near future. Promoting the forum is one issue, what I am more concerned off is the fact that the FORCE Malaysia community residing in the forum does not receive the support that I hoped for. Being an online charity community, I expected FORCE Malaysia to receive a lot of support from the online Internet users. Sadly, I would say that FORCE Malaysia section in the FORCE FORUM is the least popular section among forum members. Does this mean that our online community does not have the heart to do any charity? What saddens me is the fact the FORCE Malaysia is not even asking the community to donate. The main purpose of FORCE Malaysia is to spread the news of charity through the internet. When helping to spread charity is not being supported at all, I dare not even go into the territory of asking online Malaysian to donate.

A thread started by one forum member in FORCE FORUM entitled "Charity Spirit", raised the question of "Are Malaysian lacking in Charity Spirit? “ I would very much like to see some feedback from this question. As far as I see, the answer to the question from my point of view would be a big "Yes". I do not question that some Malaysians are generous towards charity. Perhaps every time we see donation drives or campaigns, only the same group of generous Malaysians would donate, while the majority of us are rather ignorant about it.

If you feel like doing something about charity after reading this, then please move your lazy fingers, hold the mouse and click on this link:

http://forcemalaysia.co.nr/

Or

http://forcemalaysia.50webs.com/

Its the least you can do.

You Must Think I am A Girl

2005-06-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

The first impression you'll get when you visit my blog would be that this must be some "cun" chick's blog. Sorry to dissappoint you big horny guys out there who pray on young naive girly bloggers. The pink template is actually just to get the attention of people to come read my blog. I do write articles though which would be posted in my own website at:

http://nbtd82.bravehost.com

This blog would be dedicated for me to write shorter articles as well as about my own personal life experiences.

It is important to note that there would not be an lovey dovey words in this blog. You wont see phrases such as:

1. Oohh...that is so cute
2. I love Barbie
3. Hammie my hamster died...sob..sob
4. Any other girly related phrases which would cause every strand of hair on my body to stand up straight everytime I hear it.

written in my blog unless of course I have turned to the SOFT side, not the Dark side, but the SOFT side, I repeat the SOFT side. So, stay tuned to my blog for interesting articles to come.

P.s

1. I am not a male chauvanist pig, I love girls and girls can leave lovey dovey comments anytime they want.

2. Thank you kennysia for the inspiration as well as for making me lose my appetite with the picture of you posing sexily in a red boxers. I salute you. By the way, where can I get one which look like yours?

Want to see that Kenny's sexy pose, goto:

http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2005/06/sarong_party_gi.php